Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
