So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i want to swaddle you in tequila
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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