the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
