can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
