Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
