I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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