This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.