last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?