Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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