IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
