i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is the high leading the old right now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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