I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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