im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
