last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
