Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
