Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
