Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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