don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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