After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
