erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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