dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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