Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
