R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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