She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
