what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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