Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
