Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
