Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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