Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's shark week go big or go home
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
