I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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