Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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