hell yes lets make some ravioli
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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