just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
