Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
