Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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