he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
