you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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