girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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