She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
