"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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