My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
