You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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