I'm eating all of the evidence.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
