I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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