Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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