I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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