I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we're so committed to being not committed
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
