I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
