I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Come share oat with me in your robe
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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