You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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