Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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