I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
