That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
