she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
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I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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