I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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