In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
