i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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