yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
