i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
