Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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